When to Send Save-the-Dates and Wedding Invitations

The short answer to when to send wedding invitations: six to eight weeks before the wedding, with save-the-dates going out six to eight months ahead. Set the RSVP date two to three weeks before the day, and check it against the date your caterer needs final numbers, because that number is the one you’ll pay for.

Those are the standard guidelines, most of them from American wedding sites, and a wedding on the Eastern Cape coast often needs more lead time. Guests may be flying in from Johannesburg or London, December weddings compete with the school holidays, and holiday accommodation along the coast fills up early. Here’s how to adjust the timing, with a worked example and a table you can copy.

When to send save-the-dates

The US wedding site The Knot suggests sending save-the-dates six to eight months before the wedding, leaning towards eight for a far-flung location or a holiday weekend. For a coastal wedding with travelling guests, go earlier still:

• December and early January weddings: nine to twelve months ahead. Public schools close for the summer holidays in the second week of December (see the government school calendar), families book their holidays early, and guesthouses and holiday homes on this coast fill up.
• Guests coming from overseas: as soon as the date and venue are confirmed. Some will need a visa to visit South Africa, and Home Affairs publishes the list of countries that are exempt.
• Long weekends: eight months or more, for the same reasons as December.

Only send a save-the-date to people you’re certain to invite. It’s a promise of an invitation, and you can’t take it back when you trim the list later. Our guide to cutting your wedding guest list helps you get there first.

A save-the-date needs only your names, the date, the town, “invitation to follow” and, ideally, a link to your wedding website with accommodation and travel ideas.

When to send wedding invitations

Six to eight weeks before the wedding is the usual window, according to The Knot. It suggests nine to ten weeks for posting invitations overseas, and ordering printed invitations 12 to 14 weeks ahead so proofs, printing and addressing don’t eat into the time.

For most weddings on this coast, aim for the early end: eight weeks, or ten if a good number of guests are flying in or need leave from work. If you didn’t send save-the-dates at all, send the invitations earlier, around three months out, so people still have time to plan.

What goes on the invitation itself, and how to word it, is covered in our wedding invitation wording examples.

How to set your RSVP date: work backwards from the caterer

America’s Emily Post Institute puts the reply-by date usually two to three weeks before the wedding, which leaves time to follow up with people who haven’t answered. In practice, your real anchor is the date your caterer or venue needs final numbers.

That deadline varies from one caterer or venue to the next, and some won’t reduce the number once it’s confirmed. Ask yours for the exact date, then work backwards:

1. Final numbers date: whatever your caterer or venue specifies.
2. Minus about a week: for chasing late replies and confirming dietary requirements.
3. That’s your RSVP date. Put it on the invitation.

The same numbers feed your seating plan and your hire order, so a firm RSVP date saves work for everyone down the line.

A worked example: a wedding on Saturday 11 December 2027

Say you’re getting married on the beach in Jeffreys Bay on 11 December 2027, the day after public schools close, and your caterer wants final numbers two weeks before. Working backwards:

Printed or digital invitations?

Plenty of South African couples now send invitations by WhatsApp or email, often with a printed card for grandparents and anyone who’ll want to keep one. Digital invitations are cheap, arrive instantly and are easy to forward to a partner. They also make it tempting to send late, but the lead time exists so guests can plan, book and take leave, not to allow for postage.

If you do print, think about delivery. The South African Post Office went into business rescue in 2023 and has closed hundreds of branches since, so hand delivery or a courier is the safer route, with a digital copy sent as a back-up.

A few habits make digital invitations work:

• Send them one by one, not to a group chat, so replies don’t turn into a thread of 80 people saying congratulations.
• Include the details as text as well as the image or PDF, so guests can find them later by searching their chats.
• Use one reply route. A single form or a single phone number is far easier to track than replies scattered across WhatsApp, email and Facebook.
• Keep a list of who received what, and when.

Reminders and follow-ups

Some people will miss the RSVP date. Assume it’s an oversight, and send a short, friendly nudge the day after the deadline:

“Hi Tannie Ria, just checking whether you and Oom Gert will be able to join us on 11 December? We need to give the caterer final numbers by Saturday. Hope you can make it.”

About a week before the wedding, send every guest a final details message: arrival time, a map pin, parking, the dress code, and the name and number of someone to call on the day who isn’t the two of you. For a beach wedding, tell guests where the wet-weather alternative is and when the call will be made. At Tarika we agree a written wet-weather plan with a cut-off time for every beach wedding, so that message is easy to write.

Next steps

Confirm the date and venue first, then ask your caterer for its final-numbers deadline and fill in your own version of the table above. It slots into the wider wedding planning checklist, and if most guests are travelling, read our guide to destination weddings in South Africa as well.

With on-the-day coordination, Tarika takes over your planning file about six weeks before the wedding, confirms every supplier, writes the running order and runs the day. You can see how that works on our weddings page.